Part of my pain JDM

Posted: August 10, 2013 by JDM aka JACKIE SPEAKS in AWARENESS, FRIENDS AND FAMILY, JACKIESPEAKS247 BLOG, LIFE, PEOPLE, SERIOUSLY

Where I come from quality time means more to me than anything money can buy. I had an unusual upbringing and was already working full time by high school. Lost my dad and a few years later lost my mom.

I moved out on my own at 18 years old with minimum wage and just enough to cover rent and hardly able to do groceries or pay bills. I watched VHS tapes over and over because I had no cable for awhile. I still had dial up to go online with an old ass pc. Over time little by little I built my life. I built my home and I built my career. I went from that to running a medical office and working in the industry with some of the best equiptment and people.

Having no parents at the age of 21 took a toll on me. Dad passed when I was a teen and mom passed when I turned 21. I didn’t always make the best decisions but I guarantee I learned from them. My health started to slip in 2009. I had first surgery in 2010 and from there continuous random issues have arose pertaining to health and interrupting my life. As of 2013 I was in an accident at work which changed my life. I went from being happy (finally) and living comfortably, to fighting for my paychecks from workers comp, not being able to have any kind of social life, not being able to participate in sports or gym, not being able to travel, and most importantly not being able to live my life daily as I used to. No radio, no modeling, no events, etc. However in this time I have been home I have been able to see my friends and family who visit me or were by my side at doctors etc, and I again learned the value of quality time that I once started to forget. I embraced my art skills again drawing and painting through my pain when I couldn’t sleep sometimes for days at a time. I made some changes to secure my future and still in all made sure I was there for people who needed me while I myself was down and out.

When I was at work I worked and commuted 15-20 hours of my day 5-6 days a week. I lost the spare time I used to have on weekends sometimes having to go to my office or being exhausted and having errands to run and maintain my home. Being hurt and out of work I realized who my real friends are and that my job can be gone in an instant if I don’t recover soon, I again will need to start my life over again…and this time I will do it with only positive people in my circle. I can’t afford anything less.

On Monday August 12 I will undergo one of two surgeries needed for me to get back to normal life. After recovering from that one I will continue to fight for my job and for the approval for the second surgery.

The second surgery is major and involves my spine, I may never be the same again physically (concerning pain and range of motion) but I will always be the same mentally. I can only pray that I will be able to continue my pursuance with my career after this. As an aspiring multi talented media personality actress model and business manager.

I just wanted to share a piece of my life to help those who have no idea understand. This is not the half of it. So if I don’t acknowledge every attempt of someone hitting on me or every friendship that dwindles out here and then..it is because I learned from a young age what and who I need in my life. I don’t agree to everything or with everyone, it’s called being smart and planning my future.

I tell every person that comes I to my life that I don’t respect people who don’t respect their parents and that don’t earn their keep in life. I was raised to survive and to love my family and friends, anything less is unacceptable.

Xoxo
Till I blog or write again,
Jackie aka Baby J aka JDM

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